People get married because they love each other, right? So then why do they spend so much time complaining about their spouses and pointing out all the things they don't like? My wife and I have been married five years. We have two children, sex almost everyday, and I am the happiest I have been in my whole life.Why are there so many unhappy married couples?
I think that people get married out of infectious love rather than out of true love and then end up being unhappy. I have been married for over 7 years and love it. My husband and I did take the time before marrying to go to pre-marital counseling and really evaluate our compatibility on goals and beliefs and developed an awesome friendship then entered into marriage with a lifetime commitment. People who are unhappy I don't think took the time to really evaluate their future desires and compatibility. It seems that some people often overlook their spouses downfalls before marriage or expect them to change and then get frustrated latter. I love my husbands quirks and downfalls, because I love all of him completely - I think some unhappy married also focus too much on downfalls instead of loving it as a part of the whole package. So glad to hear your question as I also find many unhappily married couples and it is discouraging- every time I am out with the girls I come home and thank my husband for who he is and the marriage we have because so many of the other girls are there bashing their men. Love is why we marry, but the bond and that complete love for your spouse even at their worst is what keeps you together.
You have to come in with both eyes open, a heart full of love, and the desire to make your marriage work which takes communication, humility, acceptance, kindness, forgiveness, and positivity.
People should enter marriage for LIFE, not to see if if works!Why are there so many unhappy married couples?
Sometimes people get married for the wrong reasons or their relationship is unlike your where they expect the other to make them happy. Marriage is so much more than we love each other. I think a lot of people think that because they are married they are done with the courting and little things that made them feel good when they were with each other. Kids, work and other things get in the way. they aren't happy and blame each other instead of stopping and looking on how to inprove their spouses mood and make them feel appreciated. Marriage is one of the harderst things to manage and if you have it down and are happy then congrats!
Because marriage is hard work and they are not doing what they are supposed to do as man and wife. After the intial butterflies and the fantasy, comes the real work, after the honeymoon, if more people realized how hard the work is and realize that they have to compromise and work together and not get mad over everything, and really listen to the vows when they speak them, then they should be okay. People are so quick to get married because they are in love, but in marriage God, commitment, dedication all play an important role in it as well, Been married 10 years, love God, love the hardwork, love my husband
A lot of people don't communicate. They don't realize that how important communication is to really be happy. Sex is important too. Sometimes people are afraid to tell their partner what they really want or are afraid to complain about it, and then everyone is unhappy. There are many reasons. Some people completely change once they get married and its hard to stay in love with someone that isn't the same person you fell in love with.
most people get married because they are in the moment of their happiness and mostly dont think about the work they have to put in EVERYDAY! its hard to be married these days because there isnt much respect out there anymore, im in a 3 year relationship and have the same thing you have (except no kids) and i feel if we get married we will have some problems. its good that you have a great life, just take care of it and to take advantage of what you got! peace!
Isn't that the truth, we've been married 36 yrs now, still have sex, always did, oh we've had our arguments, mostly about bills or kids. All it takes is communication, and your right, why do they complain about their spouses. Our children went through school being the only, or just about the only kids that had parents still together. All it takes is communication and lots of sex, just like we did before we got married. Did we do something wrong, are we the wierdos?
I can only speak for myself. People marry because they meet the person they think they are marrying. They imagine this person is this and that. In other words you only see the positives. Once you are married the negatives come out.
Lets say you meet this woman and she looks great and you have great sex and you are compatible and go out and do this and that. You marry and then she has kids and she yells at the kids or she starts yelling at you becasue she is angry at you. At this point all you look at is the negative.
I think a lot of people think marriage will solve their relationship problems. Really, marriage will make them worse!
Plus, a lot of people are selfish and don't see their relationship as a partnership. They feel like they are working against each other. There is probably is a lack of communication and compromise as well!
Congrats on your happy marriage! Good luck at keeping it alive! We need more happy married couples to give people hope!
Because we grow apart for a variety of reasons.
One wants to have fun, the other wants to sit home like a couch potatoe and rot away.
One likes to get freaky in the bedroom and the other barely wants boring sex once per month.
When one feels like life is passing them by due to sitting around with a boring spouse, one wants to spread their wings and fly.
When one gets their sexy back and the other does not, the one with the sexy back is feeling good and needs some out time. The couch potatoe sitting back gets insecure about his/her spouse because of this. Then comes the problems.
The one with her sexy back meets someone that is very compatible, loves her unconditionally and sees what she is missing in her marriage. The man she meets is in the same situation at his home and the new relationship flourishes. She mails him brownies, he mails her one of his t-shirts so that she can wear it around her house to smell his scent all day. They are both anxious to meet each other because they live 3 states away from each other. There are hills and mountains between them but that will not stop the love they have for each other.
There you have it.
i don't necessarily think people understand what a marriage is really made of. once sh*t hits the fan they run and go and get a divorce. a lot of ppl i have seen marry for all the wrong reasons and dont' do it b/c they are compatible wtih the person. but i do complain about my husband lol. it's funny just to put it out there b/c you think it's only you that experiences the same issues but really all other married couples go thru it too. i hate that my husband once he gets home from works strips down and throws his clothes everywhere but my close friends husbands do the exact same thing. i hate how my husband over looks trash and dirty dishes in the sink but all the other husbands do it as well. complaining and pointing out all the wrong in what he does to my friends makes me feel a little better about being married b/c you knwo it's just something that all men do. it's mroe a relief to point it all out rather than ball it up inside and end up in a giant argument with my husband. but all in all i say besides the little quirks in my marriage i love being married. we have one baby on the way our 2 year annivesary hits this coming month and i couldn't be happier.
People are selfish, and want their spouse to serve them 24/7 and make them happy and do everything they want right away, but good marriage takes selfless giving from both parties.
People are lazy, and want it to be free and easy, but good marriage takes hard work.
People aren't committed; they want to ';get a new one'; of anything that isn't pleasing them anymore. Commitment for life through sunshine AND rain is required for any relationship to last.
circumstances change. people change and i guess you get stuck in a rut. I was married for 22 years and thought my life was as happy as yours until i discovered my husband slept with my best friend and she had a baby with him. I loved that child and kept thinking it looked like my other 4 kids. Never in a million years would i have thought it possible that it actually was my kids half sister. My husband denied the truth for 3 years. But liars always get caught out. I dont think i will ever trust a man completely again. Good luck to those with happy marriages. I hope it lasts. but for me its once bitten, twice shy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again; marriage is a full-time job and unless both partners are willing to put in the hard work required every single day to keep it exciting and vibrant, they will be fated to a boring, sexless and eventually loveless marriage that will finally die and leave the two participants wondering, ';Gee, what happened?';
I have no idea.
Me and my husband are in this for life.
We are partners in crime, us against the entire world.
I would drive the getaway car if he asked me to.
ADD ON- I agree with Violet Pearl. Getting married just because you are ';in love'; is not enough.
It's not that there are'nt a lot of ';happy couples';, it's just that you HEAR about the ';unhappy'; much more.
You will always hear negative much more and much louder than positive.
Positive news won't get ratings. Negative, bad news will.
You are joined by the likes of us, another happy couple.
because a lot of people don't want to put the time or energy into having a great marriage. they think that love conquers all and, as we all know, it doesn't. it takes effort, understanding and work every day of the week.
and some people just make poor choices in partners.
because he is not the person i married. and his mom get on my nerve. and he never help out. i have not had hot water in my sink in my bathroom for 2 week now. but when his mommy need something he is there. i should not have married the idiot bastard
Am glad to hear that me anf fiancee been going out for 5years have a baby girl due in 1month and ahalf and man that man never complain I dont neither I fell like I love each day we leave together sooo when he gets home am all smiles good luck..
because they got married before they found themselves you have to know yourselve and love yourselve before you enter your marraige to bring any happyness into it
Because marrying for love isn't enough.
Marriage is kind of like running a business partnership- and people don't anticipate that. They just think how they *feel* will carry them through anything.
because their gettin married thinking of something that most likely isnt after they get married..or they can end up rushing into things..turning out into the wrong decision.
People are complainers and they get stuck in this rut of complaints and blaming. I for one, as well as my spouse--together 10 yrs are stronger today and quite happy as hell!
because they rush into it, they are too young, they get married cuz they have a kid...because people don't know how hard it is to make a marriage work.
LOL @ Valerie's answer...
It is sad to see so many married folks who are not in love and do not cherish their vows....
Personally, I love my husband and I am still nuts about him...He is my best friend :)
good for you
the rest of us are busy raising our kids paying our bills and working and sleeping to have sex
that is why we are so assumed to be unhappy
some people think they are in love but really they arent.
People get married for money or because they had a kid.
There are other reasons too.
Why? Because they're thinking about all that they're missing out there :)
I agree 100% with you. You have to look at the good in life.
good for you
yuck!
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