Do swinging couples really love their spouses?

If both partners are opening to swinging and it is a practice they enjoy then yes.





I don't understand the lifestyle myself but it apparently has a lot of proponents.Do swinging couples really love their spouses?
yes. its the only correct way that you can participate in that type of relationship. couples do a lot of things for the wrong reasons, including swinging couples. the divorce rate is 50% among non-swinging couples and the ';marital'; risk among swinging couples is not statistically any different.





god has more important things to worry about than if 2,3, or 4 people want to have adult consensual sex, such as judging those who feel they should condemn others which in itself is a role reserved for god.





if i can say firsthand that such experiences do not cause marital harm and that there is more trust and love in my marriage than there is in most others, how can anyone make 2nd hand claims of how bad it is tmarriages when you have no firsthand knowledge.





you dont have to agree or participate in swinging but you are the least qualified to make any judgments about those who do.





ADD: for those who think god has an issue wouldnt he also have a similar issue with premarital sex? have you never had premarital sex either? are there degrees of anger god expresses that you are the earthly judge of? if interested send me an email and i can explain it better.Do swinging couples really love their spouses?
';Swinging couples'; should NOT take vows of marriage in front of witnesses and swear to honor the vows. Having sex with other people goes directly against the main idea of marriage - HELLO?





I suppose ';swingers'; could indeed love each other, but the love they have for themselves and SEX is obviously MUCH greater.





No thanks.
love means committment. would you call swinging couples committed? [of course they are committed to swinging.]





love is being possessive about one another. swinging couples dont mind sharing so.....





love means wanting only that one particular partner. no one else will do. swinging partneres can do with anyone.





love is forever. swinging is ever changng.
I only know of one couple that I can say for certain does. They're friends of mine and have been married for 30 years, swinging for 15. Seeing them together, I have no doubt that they love one another deeply. I think some others do love one another, but enter swinging for all the wrong reasons... to repair issues in their marriage. In the end, these couples don't find happiness.
I believe people that are married and feel the need to swing is because they have a priority over any love they feel for their spouse, and that priority is sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure means more to them to the point they would rather share their spouse with someone else than to be deprived of their sexual fantasies with others. People who swing have a misconception of what love and marriage is supposed to be like. Marriage is about loving someone so much that you take vows to be faithful and committed to this one person through bad and good times. I truly feel swingers are hypocrites. They take vows they never intended to keep. It would have more respect for swingers if they simply just stood single and this way they can be free to have sex with anyone or with as many people has they want. They marry in order to appear as respectible people to the world, but in their private world they break all marital vows with the consent of their spouse. I think they have no self control and love to indulge on self pleasure events. Sorry, this is just my opinion.
I'm not married nor do I know of any swingers. But this is just my opinion:





When I'm in love I want my bf all to myself, mind, body and soul. If one is missing, then there's something missing/wrong with the relationship.





My ex once told me: ';if a man cheats on you once, then he made a mistake, if he does it twice then he doesn't love you. If he accepts you cheating on him more then twice, then he doesn't respect you.'; He cheated on me once and we broke up. But what he stated said a lot to me.





think about it, if you're married, you are only for that person; so if you're with others you're also theirs and therefore not only for him. And the same goes for the guy!
Hoo boy. Where to start.





';marriage is a religious commitment and has certain rules';


No, actually it's not. The whole of westernized society seems to believe this and that to be considered truly married, the relationship must comply with ';certain rules';. If it doesn't, then it doesn't count...regardless of the quantity or quality of love that a couple may share, and regardless of whether or not they give a sh*t about what the world around them thinks. Sex seems to be the biggest hang-up, though. A blind eye can be turned to most everything else.





';love is being possessive about one another.';





How old are you? NO, love is NOT about being possessive. For those who so like to quote the Holy Bible, check out 1 Corinthians 13 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?boo鈥?/a>


Love is about the forgetting of one's self for the sake of another's happiness.





';love means wanting only that one particular partner. no one else will do. swinging partneres can do with anyone.';


False.





';Having sex with other people goes directly against the main idea of marriage - HELLO?';


And so you mean that the main idea of marriage is about the binding and gagging of one's sexuality? It's about sexual ownership? Is that it? Yeah...HELLO?! is right.





';I suppose ';swingers'; could indeed love each other, but the love they have for themselves and SEX is obviously MUCH greater.';


Is that a fact. And you know this...how? ';Obviously';, eh? This is yet another example of someone giving advice/answers about something they are not qualified to discuss. If this answerer had done his/her homework he/she would see how untrue it is.





And now for Pictures's reply:


';I believe people that are married and feel the need to swing is because they have a priority over any love they feel for their spouse, and that priority is sexual pleasure.';


Well, you can believe the sky is green if you like, but that doesn't make it so.





';Sexual pleasure means more to them to the point they would rather share their spouse with someone else than to be deprived of their sexual fantasies with others.';


This does happen with some couples and it's a real shame. People get into swinging for all sorts of reasons, some good, some bad. It's unfair to tar everyone with the same stick, though.





';People who swing have a misconception of what love and marriage is supposed to be like. Marriage is about loving someone so much that you take vows to be faithful and committed to this one person through bad and good times.';


Really. And apparently some people think swingers are mindless, ignorant sex addicts who are beyond stupid, who are hopelessly naive and who probably weren't hugged enough growing up. Is it really so hard to believe that we might know EXACTLY what we're doing? That we've been through ';real'; marriage before and that we no longer agree with it? Do you really suppose we are so lacking in wisdom or life experience?





';I truly feel swingers are hypocrites. They take vows they never intended to keep.';


LOL. Oh no, I took my vows quite seriously. We were married like anyone else. To make a long story short, though, we had a major breakdown and it was either reinvent our relationship so that it was something we both wanted, or grab a shovel and bury it. So we threw out our old vows and ';remarried'; one another, standing in the kitchen in front of the sink. We put our rings back on one another and I promise you it was probably more solemn and meaningful than our first wedding.





';They marry in order to appear as respectible people to the world, but in their private world they break all marital vows with the consent of their spouse.';


That's a little contradictory. How can I break a promise to my spouse that was never part of our marital agreement? Is it not a real marriage because we don't have that condition that says we must be monogamous? The cookie isn't a ';real'; cookie unless it's got chocolate chips in it, is that it? And BTW, I really don't give a d4mn what the rest of the world thinks, so we follow along with society's silly rules only to avoid getting into arguments and disrupting our otherwise harmonious lives.





';I think they have no self control and love to indulge on self pleasure events. Sorry, this is just my opinion.';


Indeed. I'm glad it's just your opinion and you aren't responsible for being our judge. I surely would not want a judge who was so misinformed and yet thought she knew more than enough to pass judgment.





In case you missed it, YES, swinging couples really do love their spouses.
We have been swinging for 9 years and yes, we are in love with one another. Not only do we have love, we have trust and commitment.





Sex is not what binds a marriage, it's the true love that is felt between them.





Don't be so quick to judge when you are clueless to the facts and many posts here certainly point to being clueless.





Ginni
I believe so. Love is actually an emotion and a relating to one another, love comes in many different shapes, sizes and forms and who's to say those couples don't love eachother more then the couples who don't. Sex is just that sex and love, well, is just that, it's much larger and much more bigger then sex will ever be.





Marriage for some -on the other hand, I think is more of a financial convience to MOST maybe at first it didn't start out that way but look at all the people who stay togehter just b/c they've had children and don't want to pay child support, look at the women who marry just b/c they don't want to work, look at the people who marry for love then decided later thats not what they want b/c suddenly they don't even know themselves.





I am in my marriage b/c I want to be, I've turned many men down until I found just the right person suited for me and my life style, one that had a simular life style. I know who I am, he and I could never live a lie! I know who he is without deciet and lies without worry. Not saying that we are swinger just saying we've experienced and actually it made us both grow and learn and I love more, my marriage, him, my life, ect and if he and I had not experienced then honestly I think we would have already been divorced, I also believe that he feels the same way. I love being myslef, I love that my husband can be himself without worry that one of us may have said something wrong, I love that there is very little jealousy in our marriage and that our communications on all levels are true and not that of lies or from someone trying to be someone they are not b/c they are trying so hard to please the other person and be someone else that their spouce wants them to be. It is the true self that one can be without all the head games. Only if two are mature enough and have the trust in one another to love uncondtionally. I think it takes a lot of work, a lot of experience and a lot of droping opinions and molds from up bringings, it's finding out who you really are and becoming that true one person then finding the right person that already knows themsleve. What we are told of what is right or wrong may be different then the whole truth and nothing but the truth, who really is to say? In Roman Days and before marriage was a rule - love was free, it was shared by all not limited!
People who swing shouldnt be married, marriage is a religious commitment and has certain rules ....adultry being one rule that is considered so bad that the Lord gives that as one of only few reasons for a marriage to be terminated.....swinging is adultry period.
i'm sure that they do love their spouse...but they are making a huge mistake. it's a pandora's box that has messed up a lot of marriages. everyone is quick to say ';well, i'm a swinger, and i've been happy for years...yadda yadda yadda';. those people are the exception, not the rule.
It depends on the couple. SUCCESSFUL swinging couples do. Anyone who's in it just to get laid or because they don't like their spouse is probably not going to be part of a couple for long.
I was say yes and it has nothing to do with loving your spouse. If you and your spouse choose to have open relations with other people so be it. At least they are not sneaking behind each others backs.
I don't know. I do think swinging is selfish, and a skewed view of what sex is and what it is for.
i dunno...but i could never swing and i know my husband says he would never do that...we both cant imagine each other w/ any one else other then our selves...But if people choose to, then each to their own...Just not something we would ever do!
Not with the right kind of love. Love doesnt hurt and isnt disfunctional. It doesnt hurt you emotionally and spiritually.
i wouldn't know. i wouldn't think so much tough.


i wouldn't be with a swinger ever anyway.
I really doubt it. I wouldnt like any other man having sex with my wife and I hope she wouldnt like me being with anyone else. some things just arent meant to be shared and sex isnt one of them
i have to say no not totally


if they have to look elsewhere something is wrong


but if both think its okay, well ok
No because swingers are not considerate to the spouse! You lose to a one nighter!
NOT ACCORDING TO THE MAN ABOVE!!
IN GODS EYES THEY DONT
yes they do, as well as the other guys